It has not been a normal time. I have been trying to get by as well as possible. There were times when the pain was so unbearable. If I could have just waited normally, that would have been one thing, but people could not have that. They had to make it into something else. It was cruel, it was false, it was horrifying. This was a time of mourning, but with people taunting me and threatening me. It was so intentionally hurtful; it was unnerving. It made me feel like the people were so unpredictably mean, that I worried about you. It was nearly unbearable. I didn't mess up because I missed you (I did/do so much) it was because I had been messed with so much I thought they would do weird stuff and harm you.