Monday, November 30, 2020
Sunday, November 29, 2020
View
Stolen View~
Time stole a view
of your
perfect face
and robbed me of a
pure embrace
My shattered mind
sank
to disgrace
but spoke in prayers
that brought me
grace
I was a soul who'd
left out
love
and closed
that door
with an angry
shove
I'd live without
a one
called "dear"
but slowly sank
a bitter
tear
I found him at the
strangest place
and set
the
clock
to fit his
pace
He took my heart
in leaps and bounds
while I endured
in thorny
crowns
From on my cross
I'll rise up high
And pray I'll see him
as I die
His life is not the
one
he owns
they'll grind him
down from
skin
to
bones.
I hope he finds a nice
life back
That's free from
anger
and attack
I'll love him here
until I die
Then from a star
up in the sky
I know I'll never say
"good-bye"
Forever in love.
~Haviva
(c) HVM 2020
Wednesday, November 25, 2020
Monday, November 23, 2020
Sunday, November 22, 2020
Important
I knew you were someone I would always love when I first met you. I knew it would not be easy. I knew it would be complicated. But, I knew you needed help and you confirmed it. I never thought anyone in a field such as attorney would ever try and force the harmful situation on a victim. That was a shocker. See, that is where money as the root of evil comes in. (And quid pro quo.) She is not going to change. She will always treat you badly, because you are nice. She is trying to kill me. I was not being flippant when I was saying to escape. You need to do it. When I love someone, they feel protected, pampered and important. I love you.
Friday, November 20, 2020
Veg (again)
I planted so many fruit trees in Millbrae, that it was used as a selling feature. (Broke my heart to sell, but no choice.) I planted an apricot tree by the house and it got huge and had the most delicious apricots (and tons of them!) I feel absolutely disabled here by not having a place to grow any veggies, or much fruit!
Thursday, November 19, 2020
Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Monday, November 16, 2020
Delighted
What is love? To be delighted by the happiness of another.
GOTTFRIED WILHELM LEIBNIZ, Confessio Philosophi
Sunday, November 15, 2020
Nice
Interesting segment on a show about Eleanor Roosevelt. Nice to hear about a wealthy child who did not turn out like a jerk.
Cleansing my palate of Trump.
Saturday, November 14, 2020
Nerd time!
Watched a fascinating program with Michio Kaku. It is basic, but clarifying. He is an excellent instructor. I was fortunate enough to get tickets to a lecture by Stephen Hawking when he came to San Jose awhile ago. Of course I brought my science nerd son. He loved it.
Friday, November 13, 2020
You are loved
You don't need to be anyone to me. I am sure you have forgotten me and have a life. Just tell the DA you don't want to be my friend and you won't have to have anything more to do with me. Just please remove the R.O. It isn't nice. I will still go after the people who did this to me. Attempted murder has no statute of limitations.
Yes, I love you with all my heart, but I am feeling kind of foolish. You see how much I try and protect you, but I expect nothing back, really. I want to see this to the end, but maybe you are used to your life and no longer need anything from me, but I cannot know, can I? I think you have no power, I don't know. Maybe you won't even help me. Guess I am feeling sad and all my strength is eroding away. Maybe you didn't expect me to still be alive either. My connection may be dropping. Do you really want to live with a monster who terrorizes people and doesn't mind killing them? I am still here. I do want to give you your gifts and say hi again. I want to feel normal one more time again. Each time I think about never seeing you again everything inside me rebels and turns into sadness. It is like you are the moon and I am a wave. It's silly I guess. I have nothing keeping me anywhere, I suppose. I will still keep journaling. Just don't let anyone hurt you. Know you are loved.
Amazing
Even if it isn't a romantic friendship, I want to still know you. I want it to be romantic, but I do want what you want. Just having you in my bit of the world, would be amazing.
Let
I would like to be able to love you, so if that isn't okay, please let me know. I just cannot stop feeling like it.
Show
So, a big show was put on about my having breast cancer, but now that I know it was never cancer, I am avoided by my own doctor, etc. I need to get a different Obgyn, I guess, since mine lied to me too (along with them). I'd like to understand what he was thinking. Did he know he was sending me potentially to my death? Did you hear anything?
Thursday, November 12, 2020
Wednesday, November 11, 2020
Life
I am sitting here and sighing. I have been waiting so long to see you again it is getting absurd. I have no idea what is supposed to happen in December. I would love to hug you and then find out what you want to do. What I want to be certain is that you are free to do what you want and be free to live your own life. Have you been able to speak with anyone protective, or in authority?
I don't know what is going on, but I will take the antibiotics and keep taking the supps. I get so many odd pains and other strange things happening. I thought at the time that Dr. Moon injected me with more than just pain relief. Not sure, but I need to have an in-depth look soon.
If I should be so blessed to be able to see you as someone close to you, my life would be beautiful. The last 5 years would merely be a blurr, a nightmare. To hear your voice, to gaze into your eyes......to feel your healing, caring hug.
Funny
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
It’s often very easy for a p
Always
I found 2 antibiotics at home and took them and am feeling somewhat better. Now I need to find more. It is always something.......
Tuesday, November 10, 2020
Monday, November 9, 2020
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