Proud

"Altar-ations"-

"My knight without the armor", my heart would proudly say
He took away the pain I felt and cast it far away
The miracles he worked were not the usual kind
He cured the body and the heart, especially my mind

His independent spirit threatened traditional conformity
Establishment who want lines toed made straits of real enormity
"How dare you buck our system", they grilled with open fire
"We'll make you turn her in to us and say she is a liar"

Her mind was gagged her hands were tied, her life was in a truss
She went to jail and got no bail and told her not to fuss
A kindly cancer widow who suffered with MS
She had to leave her clothes with them and change her mode of dress

They only called her prisoner as if she were a whore
She had a cell of brick and glass and blood down on the floor
It felt like in a movie or some outlandish game
I know my life has lost a part and will never be the same

They want me to feel hate for him, my knight without the glow
Their rigid rules make them the fools, but they will never know
The love they try and conquer will never fail, or falter
I'll be the sacrifice of love and die upon their altar.
~Haviva

(c) HVM 2017

Vitamin D and COVID 19: The Evidence for Prevention and Treatment of Cor...

Never forget

 Don't ever lose hope, okay? If you do, I cannot hold on.  Just know how much I care about you. I will do anything for you. Don't ever forget that. I would love to spend the rest of my life taking care of you. 

You know how I feel about you.

I have been so sad lately. I am so worried. 

Alive

 Hi! Are you okay? 

You know I think of you all of the time. I worry about you and I am so afraid I will not do something that will help you. I do what I am able, but if you contacted me, I would be there in as little time as I could. 

I hope you will be able to come to court, but would they allow it? I was hoping that man would be in jail before, that would have hopefully meant, it was over. I don't know. I just wish you would get away and figure things out later. Any time you even have a moment to get away, please do. Who knows if they will try and harm you before the court date? Am I wrong about that whole thing? I mean if they are trying to kill me, I would not think they would mind killing you. Did the police chief contact you? Any way, you slice it, you need to escape. (Unless they are in jail See, I have more questions than answers.)

Are things as desperate as I think?  If so, get away any moment you can, then things can be worked out. Get rough, if you must, or drug them. It is your life to save, or lose.  You need to stay alive. 

Procedure

 I keep wondering how close to the truth I am. But I still wonder if you were able to tell your story to the PD, (because that would mean it should be over and we could talk, or have to wait for legal procedure)? 

Miss

 I look at the really nice old emails and I really miss that friendliness. I miss you.

Force

 I don't want to lose a friend just because a couple of bullies thought they could abuse the law and lie to the Court and force their will.

People

 I hurt each day from this injustice. I am sure you hurt even more. It is time to end it and make the bad people pay for their crimes.

Well

 I hope you are doing well today.

Word

 Have a lovely morning. 

Magical

 When I was a child, I would lie on my stomach under my great aunt's piano and read while she played Chopin.  It was the most ornate piano one could imagine. She said it had belonged to the Post cereal family. It had a deep purple velvet cushion on the bench with long dangling tassels that would swing back and forth during a particularly lively piece. 

A magical place, where she lived. And she was the magician. She loved the Ouija board and other mystical practices. She had long red nails that she would run along my arm. After awhile, though, it felt like the skin was going to tear, but I craved the attention, so I kept quiet. 

Just thinking about those times, made me feel more relaxed now too. 

Between the political environment, the "thing,"missing you and worrying about the next attempt on my life, I have been a "bit" tightly strung. And I put too much importance on certain input.  I am actually beginning to breathe again. 

Be well. In my heart.

Gentle

 Listen to poetry being recited on TV (YouTube) right now. "Do not go Gentle into that Good Night" read by Dylan Thomas, Now, "The Raven." 

I needed the Rage poem! :-)

Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas - 1914-1953

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

From The Poems of Dylan Thomas, published by New Directions. Copyright © 1952, 1953 Dylan Thomas. Copyright © 1937, 1945, 1955, 1962, 1966, 1967 the Trustees for the Copyrights of Dylan Thomas. Copyright © 1938, 1939, 1943, 1946, 1971 New Directions Publishing Corp. Used with permission.

Dedicate

 This has been a strange experience for both of us. I want to be supportive of you for anything you need. Don't ever feel you need to be anything but yourself around me. It would hurt if you weren't.  This has been a nightmare, but you brought more hope and more joy to my life than you can imagine. 

I dedicate my remaining life to you and your needs.

Hands

 My fate is not in my hands at all.

Lw

 All I know is that I am lost without you.

Hurt

 I guess the problem is that the Court thing is coming up and I am feeling scared. I have been been beaten down for such a long time and endured so many disappointments and abuse, that I am weary. They want me sad and punished and I am, for doing nothing wrong. I feel so alone and abandoned. I am embarrassed that I have honest emotions. Most people do not need to endure it being made into a court thing and feeling ridiculed. I have been illustrated as a predator and the one person who could set things right, isn't. I don't know why. All I know is that I still care no matter what. But I am emotional. No one seems to act like I am human. I hurt like mad, but I also love like mad too.

Knew

 Remember when you called and said you just thought l needed a call? I did. You knew.

C.

 I never felt so connected to anyone else before. It caught me by surprise, but it was so nice, especially when I found myself not even needing to speak to you to have a conversation.

A

 Anything you want, or need. I will. It is my honor.

Not if

 I would love having you in my life, in any way. That is how much you mean to me. (But not if I am unwanted.)

All

I do have feelings. No one seems to care.

Only

 Those cruel selfish jerks, fucked with my mind and did not care. I am a nice person and should not have to suffer all I have suffered for so long.  It is cruel. The jury will understand just how cruel when they hear me. I will be so emotional they will have no doubt about my suffering. I told the "powers that be" that your suffering has been even greater than mine. I know it has. I will never doubt that. They are monsters.

I hate them for doing it to you the most. You are kind and beautiful and they had no right to subject you to such horror. You did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong. You deserve nothing but lovely in your life. I will do anything to help you attain it, even if I am not included, because I  you and it is only right.

Nightly

 How is your day going so far? 

I know how having little to do can be tiring, but at least hopefully you no longer have people holding you prisoner.  I wish I knew exactly what happened. It was weird to actually threaten powerful people to do what I asked, or I would call for an investigation. I sure hope that really worked. I have been more used to no response. I think that some of the officers may have come to my defense. But, the mayor has seniority over everyone. I would just like to know what actually "came down." I know what is going on about as much as Helen Keller would have known. I hear nothing, see nothing, nor is anything written to me. It is damn frustrating.  I was not going to let your plight be forgotten. I will always do what you need to become, or stay safe, or to be happy, or feel loved. That is a part of my nightly prayer.

Mind

 I have a few paintings the are fairly nice, but some could use repair. A few could be of real value, if I do have restoration done. It would be great if there were  show like the British one "The Repair Shop" they have restored many paintings, no charge for anything. I keep dreaming they would repair the tea set MP had smashed, or smashed herself. The HOA knows about her. I know she and the awful man destroyed me to them and said terrible things about me to them. That is how they operate.

Wonder what it is like to have such a cruel mind? Glad I don't know......nor you.

Hugs and love.

Antiques

 I really didn't mean to smack your thigh that time, it was out of enthusiasm that I raised my hand and brought it down, but it was hard as a rock! Nice! I thought later that it probably got the spies in an uproar!

I was kicking myself ever after, but it was a nice surprise. I was having so much fun reading the books with you. It was the best! I thought, "he is such a lot of fun!"

Scintillating

 It is overcast and threatening rain. Trying to decide what to make for breakfast. I would have oatmeal, but I think I'm out, so pancakes and fruit, couple of eggs, or maybe French toast. I also need to use old bananas for bread, or my shakes.

As I mentioned my life is scintillating. My dog is still asleep. 

Waffles and fruit? 🙃🍒

I am getting the idea how things are working with the blog. (About time!)

I got the pedal machine and now it just needs a bit of assembly. 

Back soon! Hugs!

Book

 Ah! Julia Child said she grew up in Pasadena, CA! That is where my father grew up and my great-grandfather owned the newspaper, Pasadena Star News. He wrote a small book of poetry for his wife, Mary.

Liver

 Finally dinner is ready!! It is very nice! I made rice and broccoli to go along with it. I am enjoying it.

Peek a bra

 There is a picture on Fire TV of Julia Child with Jacques Pepin, but she is holding a gun! WTF? I know she was in some kind of Secret Service, but I heard she was in secretarial, or office work of some kind. It seems like Pepin has looked the same forever! My miserable bandwidth isn't bringing up the show....yet anyway....Oh! It came on! He and Julia are eating the biggest burgers EVER! I think she lived in Pasadena for awhile. That is my family place, besides Iowa. 

They are making steak, I am cooking liver....but I think the liver I make is very good. It doesn't even seem like liver. Julia is whacking the steak like a caveman with a club. Wow, her blouse came unbuttoned and her bra was showing. No one has caught it yet! At least it is staying together right now. Lax camera work! Her bra was hanging out for awhile!Ooops! Peek a boo! 

Dinner

My son keeps sending me pics of the pizzas he is making. My stomach has been growling. I am going to need to make something similar, but I don't have much to use. I will see what I can find, otherwise I have some chicken, or liver. 

Your Song

 "I hope you don't mind that I put down in words 

how wonderful life is while you're in the world......

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen...." ~ Elton John "Your Song"

Will it?

 I hope it will all be over by  Feb 23. Do you think it will? 

I want it to over, so I may be able to see you. It has been so long!

(I don't know what you mean. It could mean no.)

Housework 😟

 I heard that the new virus strain coming out of England could be more virulent. I will need to be very careful. I have not had a vaccine as yet. I kind of wanted to wait to be certain it was safe. I go nowhere, but my renter does, but on a limited basis and he is always masked and sprays rubbing alcohol everywhere. Okay, lunch. I hope you have/had a nice one. Then, housework.😟😱3q

Soak

 Friday. Time to have a relaxing rest. If you have a hot tub, what a lovely way to relax. I used to have one outside in Millbrae and when I would walk languidly back to the house, I would see the animal world on the way.  It was before my desperate attempt to save the place by dividing it up as rental units. I basically renewed the entire rotting guts and made it in lovely shape again. Then the new company bought it and ripped it from stem to stern and turned it ugly. I kept planting fruit trees and put a lovely gazebo in with a flooring of brick.  It was nice, except for airport noise and traffic, both of which I became involved with trying to change. I was fairly well liked, until this thing came along and I became a pariah. No one would help me.  One certainly finds out who one's allies end up being. No one. Well, I wanted the planes to go up Westborough toward the ocean, or even a bit further up. I don't know what ended up happening. I know certain towns forbid planes from making noise, but they were allowing Millbrae to be bombarded, especially when it rained. I put an end to it, but w/o me there to nag, who knows? The street is probably a race track by now. Oh well. I used to work long hours in the yard. I would be a big muddy mess, tired, but it felt good. I'd clean off and soak in the hot tub and sleep really well.

Rainbow

 Bernie 🌈 Rainbow

U&B

 You are unique and beautiful. 

Gatsby

 Found an interesting program on my Fire TV called "Gatsby in Connecticut: The untold Story." It is a raging dispute amongst Fitzgerald scholars about how much Fitzgerald's time in 1920, Connecticut influenced his writing of "The Great Gatsby". I have just begun watching, but it seems fascinating. I think you would like it.

Awful

Knowing puts the mind at ease. Not knowing is a cause for anxiety, stress and sadness. I have spent over 5 years not knowing. I think I deserve a lot of understanding for my insecurity and worry. I have always looked for answers. I have had to effect a sort of zen attitude to get by and a lot of writing, but I still suffer the effects of the mystery. It is purposely confusing and cruel. This was always intended as a mind game. I would not wish it on anyone. Not even terrible people. I gave thank you gifts to a beautiful caring person and punishment is what I got back. That is awful.

Genealogy

 

  

Illinois lives : the prairie state biographical record, written and prepared under the supervision of Clyde C. Walton. assisted by an editorial advisory board...
...daughter of the late Dr. Stanley H. Von Martinitz, who was named a Count during the Chancellorship of Otto Bismarck... (Berwyn Township, United States - 1932)

  

Illinois lives : the prairie state biographical record, written and prepared under the supervision of Clyde C. Walton. assisted by an editorial advisory board...
...18, 1932,he married the former Elizabeth Von Martinitz of Chicago, Illinois, who is the daughter of the late Dr. Stanley... (Berwyn Township, United States - 1932)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...ist hier die Korrespondenz mit Bernhard von Martinitz, dem Obersthofmeister des Konigreicbes Bfihmen und spiiter Oberst burggnf (Nr. 12217-122'.".°") aus... (Bohmen, Czech republic - 1654)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...Bo Hta. Georg, Max und Bernhard von Martinitz. Das with tigste ist hier die Korrespondenz mit Bernhard von Martinitz, dem... (Bohmen, Czech republic - 1654)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...die Berichte des Grafen Georg Adam von Martinitz, Gesandten in Rom, aus den Jahren 1698-1700 (Fasz. 147).... (Rom, Deux-Sèvres, France - 1700)

 

The Cambridge modern history, v. 04
...Chancellor, Zdenko von Lobkowitz,together with Jaroslav von Martinitz, still no less resolute a Catholic partisan than he had been in... (Bohemia, Czech republic - 1617)

 

The Cambridge modern history, planned by the late Lord Acton. Edited by A.W. Ward, G.W. Prothero [and] Stanley Leathes (Volume 4)
...Zdenko von Lobkowitz, together with Jaroslav von Martinitz, still no less resolute a Catholic partisan than he had been in... (Bohemia, Czech republic - 1617)

 

Aufzeichnungen über die erloschenen Linien der Familien Dohna
...hier der damalige Oberst-Burggraf Bernard, Ignatz Graf von Martinitz, da daselbst Heilquellen entdeckt wurden, ein Badehaus und nannte den Ort... (Sternberg, Germany - 1876)

  

Genealogische Geschichte der europäischen Staaten as Hülfsmittel bei historischen Studien und zum Gebrauch höherer Lehranstalten
...hatte, von der Gräfin Maria Dominica von Martinitz erbte er 1784 die böhmischen Herrschaften Grünberg, Ncpomuk und Pradlo. Der Anthcil... (Germany - 1784)

 

Geschichte der Gesamtfamilie Bolza aus Barna : Zweite Ausgabe
...7.1.1759 die Gräfin Johanna Nepomucena Philippina von Martinitz. Sie war eine Ur-Urenkelin jenes Jaroslaw Borita von Martinitz, der als Führer... (Germany - 1759)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...von Martinitz (1665-1684), des Grafen Max von Martinitz (1669-1670) und Susanna Polixena Gratin Martinitz-Dietrichstein (Fasz. 129). Zu dieser geboren auch... (Rom, Deux-Sèvres, France - 1670)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...die Korrespondenz des Oberstburggrafen Bernard Ignaz Grafen von Martinitz (1665-1684), des Grafen Max von Martinitz (1669-1670) und Susanna Polixena Gratin... (Rom, Deux-Sèvres, France - 1670)

 

Héraldique et Généalogie
...Vienne et sûrement du cte Karl von CLAM-MARTINITZ. C-En 1758, Auguste ll. roi de Pologne, nomma son fils Charles Pce... (Paris, Paris, France - 1758)

  

Daily Illini 1933/12/20
...both of Chicago , and Karl Von Martinitz 36 , Oak Park . Lambda Chi . Alpha announces the initiation... (Champaign, Illinois, United States - 1933)

 

Aufzeichnungen über die erloschenen Linien der Familien Dohna
...Benatek die Gevettern Wolf und Johann Borzita von Martinitz, damit sie ihm die Einlage erneuern und D r a dice... (Germany - 1545)

  

Genealogische Tabellen zur Erläuterung der Europäischen Staatengeschichte auf Universitäten und Schulen : für Freunde der Wissenschaft und Studierende
...2. Barbara Eufebia, des Grafen Jaroslav von Martinitz Tochter und Wittwe von Zwirben 1650. 1- 1656.... (Germany - 1656)

 

Aufzeichnungen über die erloschenen Linien der Familien Dohna
...Johann dem Jüngeren von Waldstein, Johann Borzita von Martinitz, Joachim Schlick, Florian Griespek von Griespach, Hans Spiegel von Miltschitz u.... (Germany - 1559)

 

Sketches of German life, and, Scenes from the war of liberation in Germany : selected and translated from the memoirs of Varnhagen von Ense...
...of Elba. The Austrian, Count Carl von Clam-Martinitz, who accompanied him to Elba, told me of the wonderful things which... (Germany - 1814)

 

Short history of Germany
..." Royal Charter," the judge Jaroslav von Martinitz, and the burgrave of the neighbor ing fortress of Karlstein, Wilhelm von... (Germany - 1609)

 

The Cambridge modern history, planned by the late Lord Acton. Edited by A.W. Ward, G.W. Prothero [and] Stanley Leathes (Volume 3)
...Lobkowitz, William von Slawata, and Jaroslav von Martinitz, had stood by the Crown.... (United States - 1609)

 

The Cambridge modern history, planned by the late Lord Acton. Edited by A.W. Ward, G.W. Prothero [and] Stanley Leathes (Volume 13)
...1707 C. George Adam von Martinitz.... (United States - 1707)

 

c

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...-1787, Georg Adam Graf von Martinitz... (Normandie, France - 1787)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...Begebenhcit zwischen der Ge-mahlin des Georg von Martinitz und dem Diodati.... (Normandie, France - 1633)

 

The Cambridge modern history, v. 13
...IMPERIAL VICEROYS C. George Adam von Martinitz.... (United States - 1902)

Great

They could never make me hate you and I never will.  Whatever you want from here, is something I will support. I trust you and will always support you. This is a time for unity, not only for the country, but for us and for the good. It has been a long time coming, but if one fights relentlessly for good and right, then justice can prevail. You are good and amazing and wonderful. Those people took a crap on you and kept you down. You deserve none of that! You are greatness. Never forget that!

Heal

 Michael F Ozaki MD Retweeted

Dan Rather

@DanRather

·

3h

Never underestimate the ability to heal.