I feel alone and scared.

I love your beautiful heart.

• I wish you knew how much I love and miss you. (And worry about you). If you don't like me, just tell me. I will go live in a monastery, or something.You will still be in my will....and my heart.

I hurt so much about the deception involved in this. It makes me almost feel violent.

I live in sadness, but you give me hope.

I wish I could see you. That all I want.

I am confused.

I want to be there for you. I want to know you. I want to take care of you too.

I am so tired. I just want to hug you.

I will always love you.

Thank you for your kindness.

The terrible people want to put me in jail for charges of contempt to a false restraining order. If the restraining order is false, then there can be no contempt. Period. 

You are the one I will love forever.

Never in my life would I EVER hire someone to attack another person. To me, people are precious.....guess some people only see caring for people as a monetary thing; to them, love = money.

People who hire people to harm others are still liable for the crimes their hitmen do. The person doing the hiring is just as guilty as the person carrying out the crime!

I don't know how anyone can live w/a NARCISSIST who harms people! She HIRED people to harm me and who came close to killing me! That scares me for other people! That is one twisted, cruel, maniacal mind!

If I can say anything good about this experience, is that it made me know how much I could love and trust someone. The terror I felt when I thought he could be harmed, was so intense it hurt.

I know what is important in life and that is caring for and protecting the ones I love.

I used to have a large FB page and "somebody" shut it down, but I no longer really care about those people. All that matters is if I hear from you someday.

I adore you.

I know you are strong and capable, but I would love to take care of you, if you would want.

Nothing else matters to me, but seeing you again.

Your kind and thoughtful ways have always tugged at my heart.

I wish you could see the view of the ocean, especially today. It is so beautiful. It is the best thing about the place.

I really need workers to come in and help me clean and get rid of things. I worked so hard to get rid of things in Millbrae, but it was still too much for here. I have few places to put things.

You are so very loved.

Life is difficult

Please don't let my flaws that were a product of this terrible time stop you from seeing me again someday. I fight the terrible injustices that I have noticed taking place and the undervaluing of human life and it appalls and sickens me and I cannot remain quiet about it. It is an extremely difficult time in my life. They hoped I would fall apart, but miraculously I have managed through, although nothing in life feels good any longer.

Touching Lives~

A tender touch upon
me
he graced

conveyed to me a
loving place

Away from cruel and abject
pain
Inflicted by a terror reign

He showed me from his
comfort deeds
that others come before
self-needs

Scoffing at impending
peril
Protection loomed in him
as feral

I never knew one so kind or
gallant
Nor one who displayed such
remarkable talent

His protection and love
he was sweetly so sharing
Created in me a lifetime of
caring.

~Haviva

(c) HVM 2019

•  

The poet May Sarton once wrote that “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.”

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

BY EMILY DICKINSON

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

Your kindness in the midst of all the cruelty really stood out; it must have been hard to maintain, but I can also see how it would make one want to be so different than the people who think of kindness as an abomination, or a sign of weakness.

I carry heavy buckets of reclaimed water down stairs to water plants with dish and bath water. I think I aggravated a previous injury to my spine I got from whacking at plant growth at my former home, but it will be fine. I just need to use smaller buckets and more trips.

I long for simplicity, happiness and freedom.

I am thinking of taking some online courses. I just need to know all the details.

I hope your day is nice.

“Trust and trust alone should lead us to love” ~ St. Therese de Lisieux

I wish you could see how lovely the water looks with the moon shining on the water. It makes me really wish you were here. (I do all of the time anyway.)